


Wizarding World AU sketches

by Scedasticity



Series: AU sketches [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Gen, also not literal sketches I can't draw, not actually a proper story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-15 19:55:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9253667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scedasticity/pseuds/Scedasticity
Summary: My notes on the Harry Potter AU I am almost certainly not writing.





	1. Chapter 1

Starting with the beta kids, I think John is an obvious Hufflepuff and Rose is an obvious Ravenclaw. Rose could go Slytherin *if pushed*, but her most Slytherin moments are usually retaliatory – at peace, she wants to KNOW, beyond any sensible boundaries. Dave could go Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. He’d probably be happier in Hufflepuff, but with an eleven-year-old’s priorities might talk himself into Gryffindor. Jade could do well in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, but Gryffindor I think might be best. (And if pushed, Jade could do Slytherin. She wouldn’t like it at all, but like Rose, she could do it, and do it without being hopelessly twisted up by it.)

Also, all four of them probably have a wizarding parent or two but extremely eccentric upbringings. John and Dave may not even have known about the wizarding world; Jade knew but was isolated from it. Rose is most likely to have occasionally accompanied her mother on her periodic trips to Diagon Alley to stock up on books and firewhiskey. …Not sure whether the Lalonde house in this AU is still full of shitty wizard art, or if instead it’s shitty, idk, astronaut art. Maybe astronauts.

…Jade’s grandpa developed techniques to allow Muggle devices to operate in magic-rich environments, and she shows up with 17 portable computing devices. Even if we’re doing the ‘90s setting. 'Cause that’s how Harleys roll.

Bro Strider is a professional hunter of Dark Wizards, and he’s really good at it. However he also… there’s this puppet thing, see, and he’s the direct cause of at least two Misuse of Muggle Artifacts employees resigning just to get away from his case. Dave has had a difficult childhood.

John... is Dad Egbert a Squib, maybe? Or maybe not a squib but living as an ordinary Muggle businessman for no apparent reason?

Dirk and Roxy have grown up in a mansion, raised by enchanted furniture and portraits, mainly. (The wizarding world is all, what are social services.) Maybe a single elderly, technically free house-elf. Roxy is Hufflepuff, Dirk’s harder to pin down – he could do Ravenclaw or Gryffindor, but probably talks his way into Slytherin.

Jake is Gryffindor. He spent a lot of early childhood traveling the world with his grandma, who unbeknownst to him was trying to avoid some very dangerous enemies. He has encountered hundreds of wizarding cultures! And understands how to function in NONE of them.

Jane actually had a relatively normal wealthy pureblood upbringing. She wants to tidy up this RIDICULOUS society they have, and she is Slytherin. (Other possibility is Hufflepuff, but ultimately Slytherin.)


	2. Chapter 2

Now, the trolls. Hmmmmm…

Feferi is theoretically heir to the ancient and noble house of Peixes, but has spent her entire childhood on a country (coastal or island?) estate in the custody of a nanny (who may or may not be human and may or may not be more ancient than the house). She dreams of saving the world, and could go Slytherin, but ends up Hufflepuff.

As for the head of the Peixes family… well, she generally seems to operate under “I am so rich and powerful and important and awesome I can do whatever I want and it is classy as fuck”. May do Dark magic for shits and giggles. Definitely bankrupts people for shits and giggles. Likes the pureblood system because she’s powerful under it, but doesn’t actually give a crap about blood purity. May or may not be considerably older than she looks due to some sort of sketchy perpetual-youth magic. May or may not be planning to sacrifice Feferi to Elder Gods when she comes of age. She may have been railroaded into supporting one dark lord or another, but she wasn’t happy about it and put as little effort into it as she could get away with.

…Am I putting the Beforans in this? Oh, why not. Meenah Peixes embezzled a whole stack of galleons and was last seen playing pirate somewhere off the coast of Portugal. She was in Slytherin until she dropped out.

Speaking of pirates, Mindfang is wanted in multiple countries under wizarding and Muggle law, and if she goes in Gringotts they’d probably shoot her as a PRECAUTION, but, well, she’s not accused of doing anything in British wizarding jurisdiction! And the Serkets ARE an old wizarding family, though not a noble one, and it’s not like wizards ever do extradition anyway… So she lives quite openly, when she’s in the country and not out continuing her worldwide life of crime. …She may actually have been Gryffindor. She’s brazen enough for it.

Mindfang is the legal guardian of her relatives-of-some-description Aranea and Vriska, but doesn't find them interesting enough to pay much attention to. They both idolize her. Practically speaking, Vriska is taken care of by an old wrong-side-of-the-law mentor of Mindfang's [Spidermom], who is… incredibly awful. Aranea theoretically is, too, but has managed to actually spend very little time there — practically none since starting school.

Aranea could have been Slytherin (Serkets are almost always Slytherin or Gryffindor), but ended up in Ravenclaw because she insisted that she was “the nice one” and belonged there. She’s a know-it-all even for Ravenclaw, even about things she doesn’t really know – she’ll always find something to lecture about – but she has to date been perfectly law-abiding. You don’t want her at your back, though.

Vriska… yeah, I think the Sorting Hat is enough of an asshole to put Vriska in Gryffindor. Where Tavros is.

Nitrams are always Gryffindors. Rufioh is considered kind of wishy-washy for a Gryffindor, but he is a Gryffindor. The Summoner… Hmm, I'm not sure what the Summoner's up to, but it is highly principled and might get him in trouble with the Ministry of Magic if they found out about it. The Summoner also has an on-again off-again thing with Mindfang which resulted in the Serket and Nitram kids meeting often, unfortunately for Tavros. (Oh, I bet Aranea pushed Rufioh into letting her stay over a lot before Hogwarts.) Vriska almost had Tavros convinced he was a squib despite obvious evidence to the contrary.

…I feel like the Signless was probably murdered during the last war. It was officially blamed on Voldemort's followers, and Voldemort's followers definitely wanted to kill him! It's just that the Signless made a lot of enemies BESIDES Voldemort's followers. There were people all over the Ministry who'd really rather he disappeared, who didn't shed any tears when he turned up dead. He was… hmm. Gryffindor. Along with the other main three. I think.

Signless was Muggle-born, his brother [crabdad] is a Muggle, Kankri and Karkat are Muggle-born. Not a lot of people in the wizarding world talk about the Signless any more, so the name Vantas mostly doesn't attract much attention. But [Crabdad] talked about his brother, and Kankri came to Hogwarts with a list of grievances aaaaaaaaaaall prepared. He was very upset when the Sorting Hat kicked him into Ravenclaw, but he doesn't let it slow him down. When he and Aranea start arguing it can clear the common room. (Sometimes other students join in, taking sides or trying to argue them both down, but sometimes they just want to study for their exams for the love of Merlin.)

Karkat did NOT want to end up like his uncle, and he did NOT want to end up too near Kankri, and he also didn't particularly WANT to go in the LAME house, but after he ends up in Hufflepuff he will defend it to the DEATH. (He could have done Gryffindor, and tried to talk himself into Slytherin, but the Hat wanted him to try taking it down a notch.)

Aradia was Muggle-raised after she was found abandoned as an infant, with a note saying nothing but her name. She has a nice adoptive mom [kangarammom] and a longtime interest in archaeology, and she goes straight into Ravenclaw. This is somewhat to the surprise of people who know the Megido name. Megidos usually have some sort of affinity for death, and therefore are considered ~creepy~, and therefore end up in Slytherin a lot — not always, but the particularly death-y ones usually do. But apparently deathiness minus expectations is nothing to do with Slytherin, who knew. Assuming she even is one of THOSE Megidos, it never is explained how that could have happened.

What happened is the Handmaid left the baby somewhere she was unlikely to be found by the group of dark wizards she was in too deep with. (Is it Voldemort? Is it Doc Scratch? Who knows.) Damara wasn't so lucky. She's Slytherin, and she just wants to watch the world burn.

(Okay, that covers Peixes, Serkets, Nitrams, Vantases, Megidos… I'm not even half done, jeez!)

Makaras are ALWAYS in Slytherin, and mega creepy tbh. Except for Gamzee, who's been mostly ignored by his family his entire life and tended to wander off to play with random people/animals/objects, once almost died from drinking antifreeze, and had multiple near-misses with cars, someone really should've kept a better eye on him. Now thats he's old enough to become a Proper Wizard he has a chance to earn respect and approval and attention by being a Proper Makara, but the Hat drops him in Hufflepuff. Kurloz blames Muggle antifreeze for ruining Gamzee permanently.

Amporas are also ALWAYS in Slytherin, whether under "highborn and ambitious" critera (Dualscar) or failing that under "slimy bigoted asshole" criteria (Cronus). Eridan would have gone the same way, by his own insistence, exceeeeeept he had to share a compartment with Cronus on the train, and Kurloz and Damara were in and out, and Cronus actually tried to grope the witch with the snack cart, and it was just — too much. He said *anywhere Cronus isn't*, and the Hat obliged — Eridan went to Ravenclaw, because he's a nerd who pretends to be a Moon Scientist on the Moon. USED TO pretend to be a Moon Scientist on the Moon!

(I guess the Hat used up its limited supply of non-assholeness there in the A's and M's before getting to the N's and S's?)

The Maryams don't really have a "usual" House, but Dolorosa was Gryffindor and so is Porrim. Kanaya is Ravenclaw. There are… RUMORS about whether the family is fully human — there may be some vampiric ancestry. Or germs. Or something. Dolorosa survived Signless's assassination — got the crap beaten out of her, but recovered. Not sure of her exact relationship to Porrim and Kanaya (or of theirs to each other really), but they know her pretty well. Currently she volunteers to teach young werewolves, I think.

Disciple also survived the assassination, was around for a while afterwards and then left of her own volition, but hasn't been seen in over a decade. No one knows where she is or what she's doing, they aren't even completely sure she's still alive. Meulin has had a fairly normal pureblood upbringing, but Nepeta spent a lot of time tromping through the wilderness with the aunt who was trying to track Disciple down, and she's a bit on the wild side. She went right to Gryffindor, which isn't unusual for Leijons. Meulin is… hmmm… Hufflepuff? I'll say Hufflepuff. She's great friends with Kurloz, from when they were little. Her family's concerned that he's not good for her. Nepeta is friends with Equius, but there's not nearly as much concern there.

The Zahhaks are about the snootiest purebloods around who ALMOST NEVER END UP IN SLYTHERIN. Seriously. No one remembers the last one. They're all Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. BUT SO DEVOTED TO BLOOD PURITY. They never, ever do Dark magic, but keep getting tangled up working for questionable-at-best wizards, and then it all ends in a mess, it just keeps happening. Darkleer was Hufflepuff, so's Horuss, Equius is Ravenclaw. (Was Darkleer involved in the Signless's death and why Disciple got out more-or-less uninjured? Probably.)

Psiioniic was presumed dead after the Signless's assassination, but his body was never found. (Is he actually alive in the Peixes mansion basement? MAYBE.) Mituna and Sollux grew up half in the wizarding world, half in the Muggle world. (No I don't know how they're related to him or what family structure facilitated this, IT'S JUST HALF BECAUSE CAPTORS.) Psiioniic was Gryffindor, Sollux is Ravenclaw, Mituna is… I'm split between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. Hmm. Going to say Gryffindor, I guess. —No, actually, after looking at totals, Hufflepuff.

Pyropes tend to go either Gryffindor or Slytherin. Redglare was a Slytherin; she is now an Auror, and a FUCKING NIGHTMARE to all the would-be Dark Wizards she went to school with, because she knows their weaknesses. Mindfang is a perennial target and a tougher nut to crack (and also not exactly a Dark wizard). Latula went Hufflepuff and is secretly relieved. Terezi was half-hoping to go Slytherin to follow in Redglare's footsteps, but Gryffindor is okay, too. She'll be a CUNNING Gryffindor. (Assuming she and Vriska don't destroy the tower first.)


End file.
